Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Infamous Gaming Drought

 Hi everyone, welcome back. Today I want to discuss the serious effects of not properly hydrating yourself with an adequate amount of gaming, yes that's right, gaming drought. As I am currently going through a gaming drought, this makes me an expert on the subject.

Definition: Gaming Drought(GD)- increased period of time for a war-gamer to go without war-gaming resulting in negative effects, including paralysis and even death( just kidding).

Detailed Theory Hammer: Most people know Theory Hammer is useful in list building, but is otherwise useless. Gamers experiencing drought tend to attempt to play 40k completely in there head, trying to fulfill there need completely mentally, worse than a 12-year old who just discovered boobs. This symptom greatly hinders a gamers actual competitive ability.
Don't mistake constipation for concentration!

Spontaneous Dice Rolling: "Oh, look! 3 random dice!" ...3 hours later...." where am I? What was I doing?" Sound familiar? Spontaneous Dice rolling happens to many GD sufferers. The luck ones have wives to yell at them to tell them they are making too much noise, but others roll dice constantly, not even knowing why or what they are rolling for. They just know this action brings joy somehow, but can't seem to get it to work this time.

Model Selling Syndrome(MSS)- People with MSS often find themselves thinking things like " Why do I need 8- 40k armies?" or " I never play Fantasy anymore, why do I need this High Elves army?" or " These Flashgits and Stompa are doing nothing for me here on my shelf." or "I'm never gonna play or paint with all of this." While absolutely every one of the above statements is probably true,....well... that's not the point. The point is you bought everything you got because you wanted it. And selling models sucks( look forward to a future post entitled: "Why I Hate Selling Models!!"). You don't get near the value out of them that you put into them, and it turns you off to the idea of playing the army, or even that game in the future. MSS is one of the worst symptoms of GD. Of course MSS is also caused by MGS, Married Gamer Sydrome, but that's a different article.
"All I need now is my Titan Legion and I'll be set! No, my third mortgage should about cover it!

Lack of Painting Motivation: Nothing gets you motivated to paint like going to a big tournament. Likewise, a month without gaming will completely take your motivation to paint. Why paint it?

Other Symptoms. Moodiness, Irritability, Lack of Sleep,Nausea, Indigestion, Depression, Thoughts of Suicide, Heart-failure,inability to have a 'you-know', Oily Discharge, Heartburn, Sunburn, Spontaneous Combustion, Random detaching of limbs, and wax-like discharge from ears, and NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST!!!!

You sure you can't fit a game in?

Causes: Life mostly: Moving, School, Graduating, Finding a Job, Spending time with family, Lack of Money, Childern being born (congrats Randel!!!)  I'm a firm believer that little plastic men come last in life, but one must take time to enjoy little things in life as well.

What about the war-gaming hobby makes it so addicting? Why do we just feel we have to get a game in?There are many great things about the hobby, and I think that all of them comprise the answer. The answer is that the hobby is so engrossing.  From painting, to playing, when immersed in the hobby, we think of little else. Not the wife, school, family, job, or whatever. This gives us a break from the everyday grind. We mere humans need breaks like these in order to feel refreshed so we can approach the rest of our lives focused and ready to do well. So take it from me, take the the time, and go play!
What are some good ways ya'll find to squeeze a game in?

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